Emotional Dishonesty

I am turning 31 years this November. I have a boy, he's 5 and he's such an amazing and gifted boy and I can assure you that he will be someone important when he grows up. He is the center of my life. Having him has taught me a lot though and one of the lessons that I learned that you can be dishonest to people, and get away with it but if you ever start lying or being dishonest with yourself then you are up for self destruct.

I have never really been honest with myself, I have been lying to myself for a while with saying I am doing okay and something doesn't bother me while it does. I have also realised that one of the factors that lead to suicide and depression is the art of emotional dishonesty. We never get to confront the issues that bother us and so many times we tend to just push it down and put a cement on top of it and pretend everything is all good, Eventually that cement will start cracking up. I have lied to myself that I was emotionally stable and all okay for 27 years and I thought that the reasons why I resorted to self destruct was just part of me being me. I never realized that, I was destroying myself because of the dishonesty I have been feeding myself all those years and it eventually became a habit.

I have realized that you can only lie to other but to yourself its just a matter of time before those lies start surfacing up again. When the issues started showed up, it was exactly like a clogged drained overflowing in Independence avenue. It will be blasting up in the sky like an explosion and it stinks.The truth is ugly and has a very bad taste, but confronting it and making me see things for how they are instead of how I fantasies them has always done the magic. I am glad that I am aging like fine wine and at the same time I have more wisdom than I could ask for.

Thank you Lord Jesus for this wisdom, till then I am going to face my life in truth and go through the storm with much grace and wisdom, knowing that I am highly favored and God is on my side overflowing my cup with grace and wisdom.