There is a lesson in every pain

I have been taught to just let it go. Don't worry, everything will be alright with time. You will get over that. Forget it, with time all this will end. Those are the advices you get when you just tell someone that I am having so much hurt or pain. No one ever told me to stop being a little girl over issues and start facing them like a woman. Its okay to feel pain, hiding it makes it worse. Its okay to feel heartbroken over a guy who you thought you had a future with. Its always good to allow yourself to feel, because feeling pain is part of life.

When I lost my Mom, it took me a year to stop mourning her loss. I cried myself to sleep every day for the whole year. I was hurt, I was angry. I felt alone and I was literally forced to be a mother to my young brother who was just 3 years younger than me. Mind you I was only 15 years old. There is one thing that my Mother taught me though, is to always be strong. I had to be strong, I had to fight all odds and keep my head above the water, sometimes its only the nose even so I don't drown. I made it, I got a job I bought a house. My brother became independent, we are all grown ups now, but I never really dealt with my pain. I never really let it all out and be vulnerable because I have to be strong.

When my Mom gave me that advice, it came from a very noble perspective, but how i intercept it though was totally different. The truth is I was angry with her. She left me to look out for the child that she made. I was angry because I never really had to be a child and be childish like my peers. I had to always be an adult and be a mother to someone who is literally my age.

That pain that I felt those years shaped me, if it was not for that pain I will not be the leader that I am today. If it was not for that pain, I would have never been taught to be independent and be a person that I am today. When I became a mom at 26 I already had over 11 years of Mom experience. My son, is just a 2.0 better version of how I raised my brother. My son is a gentlemen, well mannered and properly raised by me, because whatever mistake I made in raising my brother I made sure they were corrected when I had my baby.

The pain of losing my Mother taught me one thing, that death is a part of life. Death can change a lot of things in a person life, but death and pain shapes a person's character.